Thursday, February 25, 2010

Oh Time... why do you do this to me?

I have made a lot of options for myself next year... I think I have made 6 total. I am so lucky that I have ability to do such a wonderful thing for myself. I have only heard a definite from one opportunity, and it has really put me in a strange mood. One of excitement and thrill and also of worry and questioning. Thinking day in and day out... Imagining my life in these different situations, probably wasting my time since I don't know what's really going to happen. I just feel like a totally different person than from last everyday thinking has totally made a 180 shift. I can't stand my mood lately... Maybe once I get out of the burg and on the road it will help... Only got to get through tomorrow and Saturday... then I'm FREE!!! AHHH. I'm making a goal that while I am on my trips to GA and LA I am not going to sit and ponder about the future. I need to occupy my mind with something else...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Food For Thought

I read this line in Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" yesterday, and it really made me think more than twice about it. Thought it was worth posting...definitely words of wisdom.

"Remember frustration is a function of our expectations, and our expectations are often a reflection of the social mirror rather than our own values and priorities."

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Admitted to Grad School... Yesssss

Yesterday I received an email from my new academic advisor from Radford University... and today I received my acceptance letter in the mail!!!! I can't believe I got in somewhere! What a relief! It feels so good to know, but now reality of the future is definitely setting in- and it's a strange feeling. It's like one of those things you dream about for years, and now it's almost here! I am hoping that I can hear back from all of the places that I have applied to before I have to make a decision... I still don't know what I am going to do... UGH

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Waiting, Wishing, Hoping

7 days of hell coming up (4 papers, 3 exams, and 1 presentation). Plan to work my butt off this weekend and thinking about GA and LA to keep my motivating HIGH.

March 1st I will be driving down to Georgia for my UGA interview on March 2nd!! I am really excited for this 3-day road trip with Mary Elizabeth! I miss her so much. I know we will have a blast on the 9 hour drive down... Then back to JMU 2 days of class... THEN flying out to LA CUIDAD DE LOS ANGELES!! <3 Pure love.

Also, I should be hearing from Radford by mail by next Friday!!!

Still in the freak out stage, but as I find out more and more from the places I have applied to the more excited I get!

In the meantime, I will be keeping my hopes up and my dreams alive as I sit back, waiting, wishing and hoping... :)

Saturday, February 13, 2010


Here are my thoughts for today... they might seem to jump around a bit- but hopefully they will make some sense.

I really wanted to get away this weekend, but it just did not work out how I wanted it to. However, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and in a way I am glad that I stayed at school this weekend. Last night I went and saw "Valentine's Day" with the girls, and it was such a great night (and a great movie too!!)

The movie was great because it's something that everyone can watch. There were many different scenarios related to love. One of my favorite parts of the movie was when there was something said along the lines of when you love someone you have to love them for their whole selves- love them for the things you like AND dislike about them (I guess this is what unconditional love would be).

There were some other good things that I took away from the movie too... I can't wait to look up some quotes from it soon.

Another reason why I am glad I stayed at school this weekend was because I had this really great conversation with one of my best friends today. We are both in similar points in our life, and it was one of those conversations where you really start to see the things more clearly.

I find that most of the time when you talk to your friends about problems or issues you are facing in your life, they are quick to give advice and tell you what to do. I am definitely guilty of this a lot myself. You want to give your opinion and advice because you care about your friend, and you want to help them; you want to make them happy again.

One lesson I have learned this semester came from my Intro to Counseling class- "Client self-determination" which is when you are counseling someone, you do not offer advice or give your opinion, you prompt the client with questions and give guidance to help the client make their own decisions about their own life. Because no matter what advice you give, the client is ultimately going to make their own decision and they are going to do what they want to do. Now I know that not everyone is going to be a counselor in their life, but this really makes sense to me. I do want to do counseling in the future, but I also want to use this technique in my own life when talking to friends. It means a lot to me when I can talk to a friend and they can truly listen and support me in my decisions.

Here is a quote by Proust related to life lessons/experiences: "We do not receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us."

So in receiving advice from others, I think that it is important to listen to others and hear their perspectives, but it is also important to remind yourself that you have to make your own decisions- you have to think for yourself. On the flip side, in listening to others, you have to remember that people are going to make their own decisions and they need to make the decision that is right for them, not what you think is right or wrong.

Being in college, I have gone through so many experiences; some great and some not so great. Overall, I am thankful for every single experience I have had, even the bad ones, because they have all taught me something different in life. Just like the quote says, it's a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Why Worry

Somehow the topic of "Worry" was brought up in a conversation today... and I think that it is something I need to take time to reflect on.

I have never viewed myself as much of a worrier, but these days I think I spend a lot of time doing it.

When I came to college, I decided to room with a random roommate, and I often got a lot of questions from others... Why would you want to room with someone you don't know? What are you going to do if this happens...if that happens...? I really hated hearing these kinds of questions. I felt like the other people were worrying more for me than I was for myself. I would just respond saying, "I'm not going to spend my time worrying about different scenarios that I do not even know are going to happen. I'm just going to wait, see what happens, and deal with it when it gets here." I feel like I had a GREAT attitude towards worrying.

So now 1/3 of the way through my last semester, and I feel worry everyday... about my future. I'm not really worried that something bad will happen, more concerned about which path to take when I have all my opportunities laid out on the table (Grad School or Peace Corps).

If I go into Grad School-
Where will I go? What will the environment be like? What kind of friends will I make? How will my relationships change? Will I like the program and still want to do school counseling? After getting my degree will I be prepared to do the best job possible (will I have enough experience to fule my passion in my career)?

If I go into Peace Corps- How will I handle being away from family in friends? How will my relationships change? How will my thinking and passions in life change after the Peace Corps? Will I still want to go to Grad School? Will I still want to be a school counselor, or will my whole career plan change? Will I lose other opportunities by leaving this life for 27 months?

I feel like choosing Peace Corps is definitely the harder option, but I know it will be most rewarding. Am I ready to make a decision like this?

I came across a quote today that really got me thinking:
"Three things you don't recover: words said, time gone, and opportunities."

I wonder if all of these questions and worry stem from the way I prefer to live... I seek comfort in knowing where my life is going. I like plans and structure. Or do I worry and think of all these because my heart is being pulled in different directions; because it is scared of missing and losing the relationships that I have invested in for so many years. Sometimes it is hard to be confident in knowing the people I care about the most will still be there for me down the road. I know I need to realize if they matter that much and are meant to be there, then they will be.

This blog may come across as me freaking out (at least that is how it feels), but it feels REALLY good to get my thoughts and emotions out there. I kind of feel some of the weight of worry lifted off my shoulders, because I have released it.

I just wish I could have the same attitude as I did when I decided to room with a random roommate. I will I had the mindset:"I'm not going to spend my time worrying about different scenarios that I do not even know are going to happen. I'm just going to wait, see what happens, and deal with it when it gets here."

I guess it is a little different because my options have a lot more to them... two totally different paths of life.

Tomorrow brings a new day, and hopefully some new thoughts.
Thank you for reading...