This is real stuff right here

I developed a plan for myself... a goal of things to add/take out of my life... and a goal of the amount of time I want to be doing this for. Some days are easier than others... but the days that aren't easy SUCK SO MUCH. I really hate dealing with my emotions right now. I feel so unmotivated and want to give up. Whenever I write blogs, I usually only write about positive things in my life, or if I do talk about negative experience, I always end it on a positive note. I think I am going to stop pretending like I am so optimistic all the time. I think it's because I get afraid that others are going to judge me or think negatively of me. I think it's time that I stop doing this and just be real with what's going on. Because the truth is, life is not always happy and easy. Life does have it's perks, but there is also struggle and sadness. If I always run away from the hard parts in life, how will I ever grow or make anything of myself? If I want to use this as a way for me to process my thoughts and have an outlet, how can I gain something from it if I am just acting superficial?

So today, it's not only raining, it is storming outside. This seems to be very reflective of my mood. I am not only sad, but I am angry and pissed off at the world right now. Some things I wanted did not go my way, and I have no control over it. I am forced to deal with it. UGHH!

I almost want to apologize for my upsetting blog, but that's another thing I'm working on. I tend to apologize for a lot of things that I shoudln't. Why should I apologize for my feelings? I need to feel these emotions and stop running away from them.