I reach out willingly, with little hesitation.
Thinking I’m going to go to my mind’s destination.

Only to find a new path unthought of.
I was not prepared for this.
I just wanted to feel loved.
What did I miss?

My inner child feels threatened.
It was like showing my true self put you in danger, so you pulled out your greatest weapon.

On your defense, you criticize my action.
I did not make the right move.
It’s hard for me to accept your reaction.
I did not see another path to choose.

Sometimes I feel blind on this journey.
It’s upsetting when I make these mistakes I did not see coming.

My intentions were pure and genuine.
Can you not see through to my soul?
This is not a game I’m trying to win,
But rather an experience I’m trying to console.

Please put down your defenses and love me for who I am on the inside.
I want to be real with you. I no longer want to hide.

I realize my mistakes are a threat to you.
I admit, I’ve hurt you before,
I’m trying my best to understand what I do,
But it’s challenging to move forward when I have this open sore.

I’m reaching out, for love and affection will certainly help me recover quickly.
Will you take my hand and hold it supportively?

Those who ignore history are bound to repeat it.

It's been almost 5 months since I last posted a blog, and a lot has changed for me since then. One component of my program is something called "self-work," a term that pretty much speaks for itself, but to each person self-work can carry a different meaning. For me, it means looking back on my past and discovering how my past has influenced the person I am today.

Looking back at the past can be good or bad, depending on how to look at it. It's bad if you look back and get stuck in it, but it can be good if you are able to use it to help you move forward and make sound decisions for your life.

More to come...